What happens to our adopted child/children should we divorce?
Nov 10, 2017
Separation is never easy or painless. But where a divorcing couple has children, that extra dimension adds extra layers of complexity.
The same considerations apply to adopted children as to natural children; there’s no difference there. Parents, lawyers and, if it comes to it, the courts should be at pains to protect children’s best interests. And that will be the major influence in the decision about where the children should live, and the arrangements for spending time with their other parent. Adults are encouraged to try and reach agreement on these types of issues between themselves, but for various reasons that is often not possible – and it’s then that the legal system steps in and makes the important decisions that allow families to move on.
There is one significant additional consideration where an adopted child is concerned. It’s context. Every child of divorcing parents will be vulnerable to insecurities, and they’ll need to be shown plenty of love and reassurance as the process runs its course. But an adopted child may well already have gone through a difficult period, so there could be different challenges when it comes to their feelings that they have lost the secure family structure that had promised so much. They may blame themselves for the split. And past feelings of rejection could be reignited.
Of course, all children need to be protected as best as possible from the negative effects of divorce. And parents, working together in their children’s interests, have the power to do this. It’s the first piece of advice we give our clients: try the amicable route; be as co-operative as you can be. It doesn’t mean that you’ll end up with a bad deal. On the contrary, it can pave the way for a healthy on-going relationship. Because, after all, your children will to some extent unite you for the rest of your lives.
Our second piece of advice is to understand exactly what divorce will mean for you, your spouse, and your children. It’s tough. You’ll have to share your parenting duties in a way that won’t always make you happy. But few parents emerge from this regretting their decision to move on separately.
Our third piece of advice is this: do it properly. Negotiate the right arrangements; formalise your agreements; take the right legal steps that protect you and your children.
Our family law specialists can help. Call our specialist family team on 01264 353411, email: firstname.lastname@example.org or fill in our no obligation, online enquiry form and we will be in touch shortly.
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